I know Alaska Governor Sarah Palin feels quite the bullied kid, often complaining that she’s been chosen as this campaign’s scapegoat. There is a bit of truth in it: given the incredible material Sarah Palin has been spoonfeeding the media – in both quality and quantity – she and her family have quickly become favorites of satirical opinion papers, internet blogs, and just about any school joke running around on Facebook (239,501 members in the group “I have more foreign policy experience than Sarah Palin”). Fortunately, this blog is far from being anywhere near gotcha mainstream media, so I feel safe mocking Sarah Palin one more time.

Katie Couric: not impressed.

As much as her Katie Couric interview brings me delightful joy and takes my mind off of the oppressive economic climate, this time, Sarah Palin is outdoing herself by willingly lining up in front of the media fire squad (her ABC and CSPAN interviews were, I believe, the only result of her sheer ignorance of the destroying world of politics and her candid appreciation of media). Sarah Palin is writing us a book, y’all, and we should all be thankful she’s hired exterior help to break the deal: according to a LA Times article, the former presidential co-lister has hired the likes of Robert Barnett, the mastermind behind Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama’s book deals.

Although Barnett himself refused to comment – who could blame him – this highly anticipated opus will tell the tales of Palin’s 2008 almost rise to power.  Firmly planted in her mind is the belief that she had been pushed towards public ridicule and humiliated by McCain’s camp, instrumentalized as the class clown in an election she knew would be historical. Her idea is to shed a light on this Palinspiracy theory that the image we all saw of her (“What do you think of the Bush Doctrine?”  -“In what respect, Charlie?”) was a solar system away from who Sarah Palin really is. If there are still a few questions remaining as to who really wants to know the other side of the Palin coin, speculation on the deal are ripe. The LA Times reports that the former vice-presidential candidate could see as much as $11 million from her house, despite the fact that Laura Bush’s memoir as a First Lady sold for less than $2 million. In all honesty, I believe that Sarah Palin’s struggle to explain what constitutes terrorism to Brian Williams is much more interesting a read than Laura Bush’s struggle to find a pearl necklace that matches her suits.

I’m not going to lie – I would probably read it. I would not buy it, however, as I refuse to fund any more of that moose hunting, but I would devote an hour of my time sitting in Barnes & Nobles reading about the orchestration of Sarah Palin’s descent into stupidity, or more likely, her vain attempt at staying in the spotlight. Indeed, the governor of the only state with an excess budget made it clear she would do her best to be on the ballot in 2012. Sarah Palin has yet to prove she can run a country, the entire country, not just hockey moms sending their kids to special needs schools.  Because there’s nothing like a middle-aged woman whining about her impossibility to break the glass ceiling (sic), I predict this book will be a fantastic best-seller for the year 2010. Let’s call it “the audacity to lose”, and leave it at that. Two years later, it’d be in the $2 bin, next to Sandra Bullock movies and John McCain’s paraphernalia, released a few weeks after his obituary.

Wonkette has already penned a few ideas regarding the book chapters: crying over Andrew Sullivan, plotting Katie Couric’s death, and the infamous “it’s not me, it’s them” which has already benefited several politicians over the last few years (George W. “It’s Cheney!” Bush, Bob “peer pressure!” Madoff, Rick “it was Wolfowitz!” Santorum, etc). Written in glitter nail polish and hopefully sharing a few sweet potato pie recipes along the way, I am convinced Sarah Palin’s book will be right next to the Harlequin collection in every midwestern housewife’s household, perpetuating the myth that “she’s just like [them]”.  She might be rising like a moose from its deep-fried ashes: MSNBC is warning us all against the impending doom: “Sarah Palin is back, and she’s not happy”. Watch the video below for what seems to be the trailer for the upcoming literary masterpiece:

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