With the economy up in shambles over a bed of almost extinct ashes and petty fights over the stimulus plan, only social issues could bring back the good ole democratic debate in the House. Since gay marriage is an issue the Obama Administration wouldn’t want to touch with a ten foot pole, abortion remains the number one topic guaranteed to turn any dinner party into the World War One trenches. It was very close to a bloody man-on-man fight yesterday at the House when State Representative Bryan Stevenson conjured up the ghosts of the Civil War to compare them with a possible federal laws ending the restrictions on abortion.

is totally diggin colored people. he even has a card.

Bryan P. Stevenson, district 128: Little Women's long lost brother.

Riding on the horse of his uncommensurable wrath, Stevenson claimed that those laws were “the greatest power grab since the war of Northern aggression.” Obviously, this didn’t sit well with the other state representatives who couldn’t think of anything than gasp in horror as that unwarranted comparison – and that’s an euphemism. War of Northern Aggression is a term Southerners use to maintain that the North unjustly and illegally invaded the South to put an end to slavery. It appears that Stevenson has not yet digested the take-down of his beloved Confederate flag. A representant of Webb City, Stevenson should have perhaps paid tribute to Missouri’s neutrality during the war, even if it was technically still part of the Union.

However, it is interesting to note that Stevenson spontaneously compared the Obama Administration’s willingness to put an end to a strong pro-life position to the North’s declaration of war against enslavement. The right to abortion and to contraception – that had recently been put at risk by the Right to Conscience bill – is the only way for women to be free and not be trapped and shackled by a government refusing a woman the right to decide what happens to her body and, consequently, her life. If the metaphor can be considered a tremendous stretch, it is hard to deny that movements such as the Familial Planning consider contraception and abortion as fundamental freedoms for women. Perhaps Washington tried to be aggressive towards extreme pro-life movements indeed, applying laws at a federal level to ensure equality throughout the country.

he is totally diggin colored people.

Representative Bob Dixon: he is totally diggin' colored people.

The Federal Freedom of Choice Act (FFCA) was debated over a proposition by Representant Dixon (R-Springfield), trying to oppose it, saying the state regulation would make abortion “a fundamental right […] on part with the right to vote”. It would, indeed, be an absolute disgrace to the State of the Union, having women going out and about and not being in a state of constant fear. In an ironically hilarious way, like only politics can bring, Dixon refused to back up Stevenson and chose another metaphor instead – the “war for freedom”. By refusing a federal blanket over abortion rights, Dixon believes that states remain free of an ingerent governmental measures, even if this “war for freedom” actually implies a considerable restriction in said freedom. This particular oxymoron must have flown over his head as he specified he was the holder of a NAACP (National Advancement Association for Colored People) (*) card.  Stevenson then staked the claim by stating he was a card holder too – as a member of the Cherokee Nation, adding his “ancestors walked the Trail of Tears from Virginia to Oklahoma.” Stevenson is right after all – it might as well be 1860.

Despite the highly entertaining who’s-more-offensive contest that took place in the House of Representatives, under the very appalled eye of a desperate Abraham Lincoln, Stevenson’s comment on the War of Northern Aggression was timed 90 minutes into the debate, that the Congress can – and hopefully will – choose to ignore. Stevenson apologized later on, saying he “did not harbor any animosity towards anyone”. Except for women, apparently, but that is something his colleague Dixon can – and probably will – choose to ignore.

(*) allow me to borrow Christian Bale’s now infamous “OOOOOOOOOH GOOOOOOD FOR YOUUUUU.”