America has found a new hero. Bill Kristol has taken up arms against the weak-minded peacemakers ruining America’s best military intentions in the Middle East and beyond by calling them “embarrassing”. In a column written for the Weekly Standard, Kristol makes an unabashed and unashamed diatribe against those who have so desperately and distressingly fought for justice and human rights. The meek might inherit the earth, and Kristol is not too happy about that.

Bill Kristol: happily living in his three-way marriage with botox and neoconservatism.

Bill Kristol: happily living in his three-way marriage with botox and neoconservatism.

In his address to Iran on the event of the Persian New Year, Barack Obama celebrated Persian history, its great civilization and the “continuous strain” on their relations with the United States for the past three decades. Bearing great expectations on Obama’s willingness for change, spiritual leader Ayatollah Al-Khomeini remains unimpressed with Obama’s reinforcing statement on the need to address tough issues sooner rather than later. An adviser to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad commented: “We welcome the wish of the US President to put away past differences. But the way to do that is not by Iran forgetting the previous hostile and aggressive attitude of the United States. If Obama shows a willingness to take action, the Iranian Government will not show its back to him.” Confusing commentary on top of a very slow and tense shuttle diplomacy: is that strong-headed and macho enough for Kristol, or should they compare the size of their baionettes too?

Last Sunday, on Fox News (where else?) Kristol has mocked Barack Obama continuously, fueling presenter Hume’s pan who then added that the speech implied “U.S. has now joined the rest of the world and practicing the diplomacy of talk.” The diplomacy of talk is a new Fox News-coined term describing diplomats talking instead of, say, overriding United Nations resolutions. Probablyignorant of the usual ways in which diplomacy operates, FoxNews is reinventing the century-old profession and giving it its own spin. We couldn’t be happier that such a reliable and valuable news source has decided to make a foray into a vision of foreign policy it never has, or never will, possibly understand. FoxNews is to diplomats what the mentally challenged bully was to the smart kid in grade school – punching you in the face for having an extended vocabulary. It didn’t make sense then and it surely doesn’t make sense now.

Strengthened by his newfound asset, the diplomacy of talk, Barack Obama is actually doing what he does best – preemptive verbal war, ie, dividing and conquering with the simple power of rhetoric. By calling to the Persian history and the strong identity of a pre-religious revolution in Iran, Obama is dividing Ahmadinejad’s electorate. Where George W. Bush diplomacy of non-talk had united Iran against the United States, regardless of Ahmadinejad’s rights to pursue the nuclear weapon, Obama is lending a hand to whomever is willing to listen and restore Iran to its deserted seat of culturally enlightened and historically rich nation – as well as turning his back on shameless leaders tricking the international community into believing they are not actively chasing destruction when it has been on their agenda the whole time. Expert Karim Sadjadpour tells the New York Times, “Obama […] is accentuating the cleavages in Iran,” Mr. Sadjadpour said. “It makes the hard-liners look increasingly like they are the impediment.” Peacefully strip a leader of his already doubtful legitimacy and you’ll gain the popular support you need for progressive change, something Rumsfeld and his other Bush aides never understood.

As ThinkProgress puts it, Kristol seems “happily wedded to neoconservatism”, a sentimental and romantic tie that probably stops him from seeing the quite obvious light at the end of the diplomatic tunnel. Well, we’ll keep on walkin’ the diplomat talkin’, yeah. We’re getting a divorce, Kristol. You keep the diner.