Even some financially comfortable people sometimes need money, but often their imagination is helping them find a more dignified outlet to their bank woes than what we common folk generally do – take a deep breath and walk into our nearest bank begging, crying and rolling ourselves on the tile floor for another credit we know is going to be a burden in our student loans and home mortgage. But God had mercy on the financially secure and gave them cocktail fundraisers, where nice people dressed in nice clothes will share a nice small talk over nice refreshments discussing charity work in the name of an obscure company. The same applies to the regular political fundraiser. Until today, I had always thought this was the reason why appletinis even existed.

Hilary Clinton is always one to break the rules. She could have hosted the first spring barbecue of the district of Columbia, or have served frappuccinos made with fair trade coffee she directly imported from Columbia. She could have partied in New York with socially inclined people willing to donate in the name of her campaign. Wait, the campaign is now over – but Hilary Clinton still desperately needs money. The former First Lady owes a hefty $2.3 million for her run in the Democratic Party nomination. And there’s no one left to turn to – not even Madoff, who’s no longer offering rolls of cash to needy people, due to unforeseen circumstances.

Hilary and Bill Clinton, back when such outfits were legally allowed. (no, there is no Photoshop).

Hilary and Bill Clinton, back when such outfits were legally allowed. (no, there is no Photoshop).

In times of need, sell what you know is always useful to people. Hilary Clinton is therefore entering the date auction game, also extremely popular in universities, but not with her – no – with her famous husband Bill. For a mere fiver, you earn the possibility to enter a draw, one of the prizes being a date with the former President of the United States. (according to the source, other prizes are tickets to the finale of American Idol, and a lunch in the capital city with Democratic strategist James Carville). Carville himself is the mastermind behind this wonderful idea, since Mrs Clinton, now a government official, is banned from fundraising. Previous work from Mark Penn helped Clinton’s debt shrink from $25 to $2, but those are still a couple of million weighing heavily on the Secretary of State’s shoulders.

Anyone has a fiver to spare?

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